Saturday, March 19, 2016

Top Ten Myths About Gaming

10. "GAMER GIRLS" EXIST - Sex sells. I won't deny that. But these make-up caked, glamor shot women are not gamers. They are bait. I am 41 years old, and I am not sexist at all. That being said, here's the most commonly used trick. A girl will be yammering away on cam, and another person plays the game. There, I said it. Get mad all you want, but it's true more times then not. You see, you get more flies with honey then with vinegar, don't you think you would get more hits on youtube.. By having your sister respond to chat shit, while you play the game.. and end up with a ratings boost.

Now you may be saying "But Knight, I am a girl gamer, and I am not like that..". That's exactly my point. If you've ever had to take a sexy selfy to lead your profile of 7 trophies and 2,000 psn friends.. your not a gamer.. your a whore. There is a difference between "Girl Gamers", and "Gamer Girls". Learn the difference. Real girl gamers can and should be eating these bitches alive. If your so proud to be a girl gamer, then you need to deal with your fakes. They think this shit is a cam site.
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9. SONY WILL EVENTUALLY HAVE BACKWARDS COMPATIBILITY - I really hate to break this to you.. but this will just simply never happen. You see, it creates nothing. Sure, it would be cheap to pull it off.. and sure Sony could make it happen. But they won't.. ever. Maybe one day they will perfect their DRM, but the reason the DRM is so screwed up, is to draw attention from the real issue staring us all down. What happens to all your purchases when the PS3 store goes offline? Eventually..

8. EVERY GAME NEEDS CO-OP - No, it doesn't. I started gaming in 1979.

Nineteen Seventy Nine.

I have never seen such a whining, crying, self-important, Gimme Gimme, self-entitled, self-absorbed, severely co-dependent generation in my life. Here's a tip, Life's a bitch.. get a helmet.
Do you need assistance taking a shit too..? How about making a sandwich.. because it's just too hard to do alone anymore. You can do it, I have faith in you.. make that damn sandwich, and grow a pair.

7. I'M MLG PRO - Your not pro anything. Maybe a pro a taking down 4 bags of Doritos in a single sitting. Major League Gaming is bullshit. Your good at ONE kind of game (FPS's), so you think your a "pro". Really, I have all 3 Dark Souls platinums.. does that mean I'm a King? Idiots.

6. BEING SPONSORED - You dumb bastards. Nobody gives a shit about how many videos you make. These low-end shithole companies are lying to gamers. THIS IS A DAMN ADVERTISING PLOY, AND YOUR TOO DAMN STUPID TO SEE IT. They only care that their ad is seen. You could die tomorrow, they do not care. Your not being sponsored, your being played..

5. INDIE GAMES ARE GOOD FOR GAMING - Really? Because at a 70/30 ratio of indies to triple A games, it just looks like you don't have anything to offer. I love indie games, but holy shit.. what a deluge. Does any company even have a flagship series anymore (except f'n Assassin's Creed). Make more AAA games. Stop making shit like Pillar.

4. RPG ELEMENTS SHOULD BE IN EVERY GAME - I love how they used the Skinner box technique to drag money out of the bullet ridden, jarhead, FPS community. Destiny, TC's Division, etc. If you are too young (or uninformed) to know what a Skinner Box is.. you might wanna Google that shit.

3. THE VITA IS A BAD CONSOLE - No, it's not.. It's actually a brilliant way to tie all 3 systems together, and it has the best RPG's going right now. Try BUYING one before you bitch about it. It's quite awesome. (Even though Sony is just having a IDGAF attitude about it)

2. THE STATE OF GAMING IS GREAT - This is bullshit. When you have 10 companies competing, you'll probably get a killer product from those companies because competition has evolved the products.
When you have 100,000 companies competing, all doing the same shit and ripping off each other. Well, now you have a problem. The money is spread too thin. So now great companies of the past are not able to be as innovative as they were in the past, because they cannot afford to fuck up. And with 99,999 other companies trying to rip you off, you have far less resources then you would have had. Being able to afford to fuck up is crucial, just ask Square-Enix.

1. THE AGE LIMIT FOR GAMES IS STRICTLY ENFORCED BY THE ESRB - Here's the truth people. This is the biggest myth in gaming.. I have been in line at Gamestop and seen them sell M rated games to 10 year olds with no parent present. All you need is mommy's credit card to buy from the PSN store. And people today, are just shitty parents. You heard me right. Not only will this debatably warp their minds, but it creates a living hell for the rest of us. NOBODY wants to hear your fucking 10 year old while playing online at ANYTHING EVER. Be a better parent or log off the damn planet.

Much Love,
Knight Edrik