Dead Island Review (PS3)

 Most of you reading this think one of two things.. Either I am absolutely insane, or I am completely opinionated.  And actually, it's kind of a little bit of both. You see, when sitting down to write this review.. I am somewhat of a loss for words. Maybe this is help to clear up your confusion:

I fucking love this piece of shit game.

You get it? Cause I don't.

I fully believe this is a fantastic game. I also fully believe this is a fucking piece of shit.

I know it's strange.. but that's how I feel about it. I spent about 20 hours playing thru the game in 3 player co-op, with my good friends JFizzleback and XcYco, and even played quite a bit by myself.. and I am still kind of confused.

So, in addition to this weeks review.. we are going to explore this from the frayed, borderline psychotic standpoint of an "opinionated" first class internet asshole.



Dead Island Review By Knightedrik

Going into this game, I heard several things.. but the number one thing was "This game is like a cross between Oblivion and Left 4 Dead."  And knowing that, how the hell can you not give this game half a chance? Upon starting up.. you choose your favorite stereo-type (Redneck drunken asshole, aborigine ex-police officer, washed up rapper, or Ms. Swan from Mad Tv) and your off on your way.

 At the start you are simply trying to escape the hotel.. After searching a few dark rooms, and gathering several hundred dollars from wallets.. I round a corner and hear: "Run! It's the infected! Get to the end of the hall!".  And while making the choice of directions as to "where the fuck is the end of the hall", I get brutally gang raped by 4-6 zombies.. and killed in about 2 hits.

Fuck..

 That pretty much sets tone for the rest of game.. You die about every 12 seconds, skill won't help you.. and lingering is the thought "This game fucking hates me."

 That being said.. I'll try and not throw in any spoilers.

The Good:
 The game attempts to be one thing early on, and something completely different later on towards the end.  In the beginning it really is like having the first real FPS/RPG/Survival Horror/open world game.  There are plenty of weapon choices, equip the best and sell the rest.. in order to get enough money to buy the shit you need to craft the best of your weapons into better weapons. The island is quite large, with the map being close in size to the size of the map in Infamous 2. The island is beautiful, the problem is you won't be there for long.

The Bad:
  Sometime about halfway through the game.. you start to slowly realize that the open world thing is rather lacking, and all the "fetch" quests seem to pile up to the point you almost don't care anymore. The game ends up feeling shallow.

The Story:
   The story consists of basically a series of quest, with very few short cutscenes to expedite it along in the slow parts. If only doing the main quests, this game could probably be completed in about 6-7 hours. You pretty much have but one goal.. To survive the island. Personally I find this hilarious, because all you do is die.
  If you are playing single player, you will reload to the last "checkpoint" upon death. In multi-player you will simply re-spawn in 7 seconds.  The problem here is that in single player the checkpoint system is rather spread out.. meaning you might have to do the same shit a few times in a row in order to progress. In multi-player, they seem to re-spawn you where ever the fuck they feel like it. It could seriously be between 10 feet to 5 miles away from your "team".  And with everybody dying all the god damn time, it makes it kind of hard to keep any kind of order to things.. and the game feels more "chaotic" than it should.  All in all, the story here is basically non-existant.

The Gameplay:
   Imagine is you will, if a games like Oblivion and Far Cry had a watered down, slightly retarded, generic offspring.. with zombies.
"This is a zombie game man, where are all the guns?".. you might ask.
 "Guns you say, HA! Here's a dildo.. ram some nails through it and fuck straight off!" says this shitty game.
 Gameplay is as follows.. Jack wallets, kill shit, make weapons, kill more shit, complete sidequests, kill even more shit.. all while trying like hell to upkeep your 2,000/1 kill death ratio. That's pretty much it.. so if sticking an electrified katana up a zombies ass sounds fun to you.. then you have found a masterpiece.

The Graphics:
   Being one of the shining points in the game.. the graphics are quite good. Chapter 1 will have you out for a stroll on the beaches.. which are nearly stunning.. but after that it goes to more of a "Resident Evil" kind of setting, buildings, hallways..etc. Everything looks good.. but the first impression is the best your gonna get.
The Sound:
   From the moaning of zombies, to the cries of the flocks of seagulls over head.. the game is quite solid in the sound department. All the bone jarring force of hitting a zombie with a sledgehammer translates very well thanks to the feedback in the controller.. which is perfectly sync'ed with the sound of bashing in a zombies ribcage.
The Lasting Appeal:
   This is where most games have their most obvious weak point. After you beat the game, and reach the max level.. what is there to do? Nothing.. nothing at all. This game is rather short and sweet.. and when it's over.. it's over. Which in turn means, if you have been wanting to pick up this game.. wait a few weeks, this game is destined for the bargain bin.
   One more thing I would like to say about the lasting appeal of this game, Resetting everybody's stats on day 2 via a fucked up patch, does not encourage me to purchase your shitty game.
The Trophies:
  The trophies are pretty easy for this game.. that is of course if they fucking work. I got this game from Gamefly.. and I liked it.. release day I played it for about 12 straight hours. Upon resuming to play this game on the second day.. there was a patch to be downloaded. Which long story short.. reset everyones stats back to zero. Alot of the trophies are for achieving a milestone in your stats. 250 blunt kills, 250 sharp weapon kills, 250 kills with guns, drive X miles.. all reset due to stupidity or sadism, I haven't figured out which yet. So, on the second day, I had to restart working on all of those trophies that required grinding. Fuck you Deep Silver.

All in all, I did have fun playing this game. The multiplayer is much more fun than the single player.. so if you have a couple of friends, your ready to roll. But, I would not buy this game again. Rent it, if you do want to buy it.. wait about a month and it will be the same cost as a happy meal.


The Bottom Line:

Story:          3.0
Gameplay:       6.0
Multiplayer:    7.5
Graphics:       7.5
Sound:          6.5
Lasting Appeal: 2.0
Trophies:       4.0

Overall: 5.2