Reader Requests Vol. 1

Well now...

Christmas is over, and the dust has finally settled. I hope you had a great one.. If next years ends up like this years did.. I may have to re-mortgage my house. But hey, its all in good fun.. right? To see the looks on your loved ones faces, as they open their gifts.. and see that what you bought them is way less fucking expensive than what you received.. priceless.

So.. now that that shits over with..... again, we can looks forward to the new year with a drink in one hand and a bottle of anti-depressants in the other. It seems like every year just goes by faster and faster, doesn't it?

Ok, on to the topic of today's post..

I asked my readers and my friends in the PSN crowd who are readers as well, to submit topics for discussion. And by discussion.. I mean my solo unbridled hatred. I got more then a few topics to work with, but I am going to do them one at a time. First come, first served style.

After reading my blog, a good friend of mine.. who just so happens to be an admin. at PSNfriends.com, sent me a topic he would like me to expand on. And it just so happens its a subject that I have alot to say about.

Iroc-J
This ones for you...



BAILOUTS..

I remember back when I was just a kid in school.. we had many different classes. Art, Science, English, lots of classes.. And then when I reached high school.. we had slightly different classes.. Algebra, Chemistry, Physics, FUCKING ECONOMICS...

Now, I won't go into the gorey details of my economics classes.. but I would like to make a few points.. touch some bases.. if you will.

In layman's terms, basically.. this is what I learned...

A) 90% of the time, small businesses fail.

Yes.. this is America, and yes.. everybody deserves to have a dream.. But if your dream is to open an eating establishment where you serve ground up kittens.. Guess what, you belong in that 90%. (And your an asshole.) You must have not only luck, but a gimmick, some money, a few friends, investors.. maybe even a slush fund for your hookers.. fuck I don't know. But, its very rare in this day and age, to succeed. And the point is.. everything must be perfect. Now, with it being said that 90% of SMALL businesses fail.. what's that say about BIG business.


B) Supply and Demand

The most basic rule in business..

You have shit + I need shit = You sell shit.

Or, A+B=C for you algebra fuckers. To put it into even simpler terms.. You sell ground kitten, I don't want ground kitten.. see listing A.

In order to sell things, you must have a target audience.. Fuck, even those Sham-wow fuckers know that.. They cater to the OCD crowd. It doesn't take a genius to know that its hard to sell porn in a church. Wait a minute, maybe thats a bad example.. But you get my fucking point.

Long story short.. if you want to sell something, then make sure you have a GOOD something to sell. Stand behind your product.. and give people that false sence of security they love so much.

Also with supply and demand, one other point.. If demand is high, you charge a bit more. If demand is low, you lower the price. If supply is high, on the other hand.. you might want to have a sale. If supply is low, raise the price.. because its more rare. You see, its really not that hard to understand.

C) Investors

There are two kinds of investors.. like the two kinds of gamblers.. One faction like to stick with what they know.. and make it work for them. And the other, maybe favors roulette, as to where luck would play a larger part. With investors, some people like to invest in Nike or Pringles or Trojans.. because they wear or use that shit. Others hear from a friend of a friend, or the news.. that a certain stock is going to be hot.. so they dump all their cash into it.. and pray.

Either way, large and small businesses cannot live without investors. Someone stupid enough to give up their money for a worthless piece of paper, in the hopes that maybe the paper will turn to gold.


Now.. here's the problem. Lets forget about small business for a minute and focus on big business.

Big business, had lost their fucking mind... there, someone had to say it.

They have taken to 3 basic, common knowledge points that I have made above.. and wiped their asses with them.

Banks, Car manufacturers, Dildo salesmen, Homeowners, Ground kitten salesmen.. FUCK.

Everybody is coming out of the woodwork.. with their fucking hand out. Begging.

Please bail me out.........

Please help us, we have forgotten what the fuck we're doing and we need money..

Your Money..................

Taxpayer money................


What pisses me off even worse is that our government, in all their fucking splendor, is entertaining the idea of spending MY MOTHER FUCKING TAX DOLLARS.. to help people who are too stupid to live.

Let's do Banks first..

Banks.. are full of greedy bastards. In fact you cannot even work at a bank unless you are a greedy bastard. They pay shit wages, shit rates on your savings, all because the head bank CEO is taking damn near every single dime of profit.. and spending it on hookers and scotch. Well now they have ran out of hooker/scotch money.. and they want the government to supply them with an unlimited stream of hookers/scotch. And guess who's going to pay in the long run for this bullshit. They want us to bail them out.. fine. First walk in and fire everybody working there, cause they fall into the 'too stupid to live' category.. then make the American people investors. From now on.. Bank CEO's make the same salary as teachers. Trust me.. somebody will take the job. And take all that fucking 'stolen' money back.. and use it for what it was meant for.

Now for the Car making dumbfucks...

The companies who make cars are failing?? Seriously? Because everytime I walk out the fucking door.. I see thousands of cars.. who the fuck knew? OOoo I get it.. it's the American car makers that are failing.. o well that's different.

What the hell happened to this country.. we used to stand for something.. we used to never let someone else be better than we were. Fuck.. we even faked a moon landing to fuck with those russian and japanese bastards. We never used to get pushed around.

But sadly, now it seems we are but a doormat.. 'wipe your feet on the way in'.

So.. let me get this straight.. we can't make a better car, cheaper, then the japanese? Its a good thing we don't have like 40 million fucking mexica.......... wait just a damn second.

I don't see a problem here, mexicans want to work.. they are already here needing jobs.. they will work for minimum wage.. (or less if your a bastard).. what the fuck is the problem.

But alas, turn on the TV and all you hear is.. 'Help us.. we need money.. we need 40 billion dollars..'

I have a solution for this problem. It's fucking brillant.

You know who should bail out the US car makers.. you know who should..

The fucking gasoline people...

Think about it, it's a match made in heaven.


A + B = C



Thanks to IROC-J, for submitting this subject..



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